...and went over to the local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm pistol for home protection.
When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said "Strip down, facing me."
Making a mental note to complain to the NRA about the gun control wackos running amok, I did just as she had instructed.
When the hysterical shrieking and alarms finally subsided, I found out she was referring to how I should place my credit card in the reader!
I've been asked to shop elsewhere in the future. They need to make their instructions to seniors a little clearer.
I still don't think I looked that bad.